Email "tasteful" jokes to www.tlc-nera@hotmail.com

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.  "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
    "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
    "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"
    "Twenty-six," he said.

I don't exercise at all.
If God had wanted me to touch my toes
He would have put them up higher on my body.

One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.